When I got back to my apartment in Dallas, neither of my roommates were home.  This was actually a relief for me, because I needed some time with the Lord that night.  I picked up my guitar and began to sing, and he brought to mind these words that He’d given me a few years ago as the student ministry I was a part of walked through some dark and difficult days:

You’re the God of the broken-hearted
You’re the God of the one who’s all alone
You’re the God of the helpless children
So I’m learning to trust in You because

When my tears fall
When my heart breaks
It matters to You
You embrace me
With unfailing love
It matters to You

You’re the God of the weary warrior
You’re the God of the barely hanging on
You’re the God of the crushed in spirit
So I’m learning to trust in You because

When I’m worn out
Tired of waiting
It matters to You
You sustain me
Everlasting God
It matters to You

(Instrumental)

When my tears fall
When my heart breaks
It matters to You
You embrace me
With unfailing love
It matters to You
And when I’m worn out
Tired of waiting
It matters to You
You sustain me
Everlasting God
It matters to You
It matters to You
It matters to You

What perfect timing from the Lord, to remind me that I’m not alone… that He hasn’t forgotten about me… that every burden that weighs on me, and every tear that falls matters to Him… that I am loved by my Savior.

Here’s a link to download the song for free.  Hope it encourages you.

IT MATTERS TO YOU.MP3

Last night I returned to the student ministry I worked in for 7 years to teach our middle school students about forgiveness, as a part of their series, “Words With Friends.”  Man I miss these guys…

God gives us a vision, then he takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. While still in the light of the glory of the vision we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us.  God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work.

–Oswald Chambers

• I love my couch, and I love falling asleep on it. Everyone should experience the joy of owning at least one couch in their lifetime comfy enough to take a nap on.

• I love sitting on my porch and watching storms roll in, or watching snow fall, or reading a good book, or having conversations with friends. In fact, I just plain love quality time with the people who are dear to me.

• I love going to Waffle House late at night.

• I love sitting in coffee shops with friends (but not drinking coffee).

• I love Friday dinners with my parents, and random phone calls with my sister.

• I love the resonance of an acoustic guitar, and the melodies you can make with those six metal strings.

• I love writing songs, and trying to arrange my thoughts and feelings in a way that stirs the heart–mine, if no one else’s.

• I love hearing from people when a song I’ve written does in fact stir their heart, and knowing that I’ve helped to make a difference in their life.

• I love laughing–the more uncontrollably, the better–in spite of my incredibly loud and “unique” laughter.

• I love giving gifts that make people smile.

• I love the revelation of God’s heart to mine… those “aha!” moments where something in His word jumps off the pages and penetrates my heart to its core.

• I love the sounds and smells of Fall–the football games and high school bands heard in the distance on Friday night, the burgers being grilled somewhere in the neighborhood… and the smoky smell on your clothes as you return home from a bonfire.

• I love “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” and I love watching it with my family from 11:30 to midnight every year on Christmas Eve. I even kinda love being woken up by my 24-(now 26)-year-old sister at the crack of dawn the next morning as if we were still 5, despite how much I moan and groan about it in the moment.

• I love the inspiration that comes from Donald Miller’s wit, John Eldredge’s adventure, Francis Chan’s questions, and Louie Giglio’s passion.

• I love a good ocean breeze at night.

• I love conversations that leave you feeling alive.

• I love friends who bring out the real “me” whenever we’re together.

• I love walking the streets of Hertford, England… in my mind, if not in person.

• I love the soul-satisfying flavor of a perfectly-made Chick-fil-a Chicken Biscuit.

That last one was a bit of a humorous note to pause on.  I’m not sure what kept me from finishing this list, but I might have to pick it back up and add to it again soon.  Loved stumbling across this though… it was good to remember some of the simple blessings the Lord has placed in my life… moments that bring life and put my heart at ease.

What’s on your “Things I Love” list?

What if my life looked like the life Jesus lived? Would my days still be filled with Facebook and MySpace? Would I have watched four seasons of “The Shield” in the past month? Would I eat out three times a day, and five on the weekends? Would my money be spent on everything Steve Jobs deems worthy to wear that glorious little piece of fruit?

What if I could ask a girl to dinner without wondering what (or how soon) the gawking gossips would flood the streets with rumors of romance? Is it even possible to show an interest in someone anymore without everyone running to check the registry at Sears or Target and pick out wedding gifts?

What if I talked to God the way I talk to my friends? Would our dialogue be more real? Would I still use fancy “religious” words to try and impress him, as if he had never met someone with a vocabulary quite like mine? Or would I simply be embarrassed by our conversation, because the way I talk to my friends isn’t very loving?

What if my actions reflected the things I said? Or better yet, what if I only said the things I really did? Would my lips ever move?

What if I loved people the way I love myself? I mean, I love myself… a LOT. But that guy sitting on the corner of the Marietta Square in need of a job– or more immediately, a meal– I don’t think I really love him very much. In fact, I hope he doesn’t ask me for money when I walk by, because I’ll probably feel awkward and tell him I don’t have any money to give him. And then I’ll run in to Winan’s and grab a nice cup of hot chocolate, even though it’s summertime, because they make really good hot chocolate.

What if the four empty rooms on the upstairs level of my house were filled with people who wouldn’t otherwise have a place to call home?

What if my TV didn’t sport a 60″ screen? Would I still enjoy the Lakers, and Jack Bauer, and watching Simon point out Paula’s (increasingly) embarrassing reactions to every singer on American Idol? What could I do with the $3000 I would have saved? How could I have used it to make this world a better place for someone other than myself to live?

What if by this time next year, my life looks nothing like it does right now, because God uses the answers to these questions to change my selfish little heart?

What if by this time next year, my life looks exactly the same?

Guess I shoulda seen this coming!

As I was tucking Will in the other night I asked him if we would stay little for me… he replied, “no daddy I’m growing bigger.”

The best part about my job is the relationships. I just told Kelly the other day that we are sooo fortunate to have relationships with so many students. We may not have tons of financial wealth, but we are extremely rich.

However, the worst part about my job is also the relationships. Every year when I graduate a group into the world, a part of my heart goes too. Honestly it hurts. Could you guys please stay little?

Having had the privilege of helping to lead the student ministry this year while our church searches for a new youth pastor, I can identify with those words more now than ever… because this past week in Panama City marked our final moments with the Senior Class of 2011.

As we wrapped up the week, we sent everyone to small groups, asking the seniors to stay with us. We sat around in a circle for about an hour, as the seniors all laughed and cried (and even laughed so hard they cried) reminiscing their years in the student ministry. Their leaders spoke words of life, encouragement, and gratitude over them. It was a sweet, sweet time of looking back, knowing that we are now entering in to a season where we all must begin looking ahead.

As I look ahead to the fall, it’s hard to imagine these seniors not being around. They’ve led so well this year. They set the tone week after week at Sublime, both in their consistency and their passion. They raised the bar for every other student in attendance as to what it means to follow Jesus in middle school and high school.

I’m going to miss them.

I’m going to miss seeing Chase Peterson and Jaime Newton running the lights and video each week.

I’m going to miss going through our leadership study with Sahar Massad, Jess Magee, and Greg Hladilek at the office every Monday.

I’m going to miss seeing football players Clayton Castleberry and Gage Henry stick out like a couple of sore thumbs every week amongst all the middle schoolers, and knowing that these two guys—who are probable both physically strong enough to bench press ME—are equally strong spiritually, and great examples for those middle schoolers to be looking up to.

I’m going to miss seeing Stephen Patrick come out of his shell.

I’m going to miss seeing Sydney Adams leave with Lexie Ware each week to continue the discipleship process they’ve been in for the past few years.

I’m going to miss Alexandra Dorrell’s last minute applications, and Mary Tucker’s quirky humor. I’ll miss Brette Abshier and Kenzie Schneider when people talk about England, and Emily Nedvidek whenever Guatemala is mentioned.

Kevin Tillis? He’s a Florida fan… so I’ll miss him a little less than the others.

Most of all… I’m going to miss moments like Courtland Rucker’s baptism, when the entire class came out (unplanned) on the stage to show their love and support for their friend.

Those are the moments where you saw the Senior Class of 2011 for who they truly were… a class that was united… a class that stood together as one and sought after the heart of God, fighting hard for each other every step of the way. A group of young men and women who loved each other deeply, and who weren’t afraid to confront one another whenever it was needed, all the way to the very end. They are a group that challenged and encouraged… a group marked by loyalty and consistency… a group that knew how and when to lead and to follow.

Seniors, now that your time in the student ministry is over, I find myself wanting to ask of you that same question Brent asked years ago. I find myself wishing we could have one more year together (or two… or three). I find myself wishing you’d all stick around here for college, so you could plug back in as small group leaders. And yet, I know God is calling you out to different parts of the world now, to be lights in dark places all over this nation… because He is going to use you to change the world.

But for now, we enter in to a season of “goodbye”… a time of letting go of all that was, in exchange for all that will soon be… and it’s hard. It’s sad. It hurts.

Could you guys please stay little?

For example…

• The beautiful girls who starve themselves because they look in the mirror and see someone who is fat and ugly.
• The guys who never take a risk because they were brought up believing they were a big failure, and they don’t want to disappoint anyone else.
• The husbands who cheat on their wives because they think what they don’t have is better than what they’ve spent their whole life building.
• The friends who stop talking because each thinks the other is angry.
• The Christians who remain in chains even after they’ve been set free.

The list could go and on. I see this all the time in my own life, and I see it all the time in student ministry.

I sat down with a student recently in the middle of a mostly-empty restaurant. As our conversation unfolded, so did the layers of lies he’d come to believe. It was astounding. And in that moment, God gave me this thought, which I shared with the student:

Me: Look around this restaurant… look at all the tables that fill this room.  What if we believed they were all lions?

Student: We’d be running out of here.

Me: Exactly. But you and I both know the truth is these are tables and not lions.  So how do you think we should respond?

Student: We should probably stay.

Our lives are full of “tables” that our enemy has convinced us are really lions (in hindsight, this goofy analogy has proven to be quite interesting, since 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that the devil “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”).  We spend our lives living in response to things that just flat out aren’t true sometimes, and our response to the lie is drastically different from how we would respond if we knew and believed the truth. As different, in fact, as the difference between responding to a table and a lion.

The result?  Fear. Bondage. Distrust. Bitterness. Anger.

I’m entering in to a season of asking God to help me identify the lies in my life that I’ve embraced as truth. With each of these lies comes a wound, and with each wound comes the need for God’s healing. There are years worth of memories to go back through, but I know the truth of Isaiah 61:1… that Jesus came to “bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners.”

Bring on the lions.