As I prepared to head back to Dallas for my 2nd semester at Dallas Theological Seminary, I found myself pouring out my heart to family and friends in an e-mail asking for prayer as I returned to school.  The truth is, these first few months out here have been difficult.  When you hit the “reset” button on life like I did last August, it’s easily to feel lonely and disconnected… or worse yet– forgotten.  It’s easily to feel overlooked, as if God’s forgotten about you.

When I got back to my apartment in Dallas, neither of my roommates were home.  This was actually a relief for me, because I needed some time with the Lord that night.  I picked up my guitar and began to sing, and he brought to mind these words that He’d given me a few years ago as the student ministry I was a part of walked through some dark and difficult days:

You’re the God of the broken-hearted
You’re the God of the one who’s all alone
You’re the God of the helpless children
So I’m learning to trust in You because

When my tears fall
When my heart breaks
It matters to You
You embrace me
With unfailing love
It matters to You

You’re the God of the weary warrior
You’re the God of the barely hanging on
You’re the God of the crushed in spirit
So I’m learning to trust in You because

When I’m worn out
Tired of waiting
It matters to You
You sustain me
Everlasting God
It matters to You

(Instrumental)

When my tears fall
When my heart breaks
It matters to You
You embrace me
With unfailing love
It matters to You
And when I’m worn out
Tired of waiting
It matters to You
You sustain me
Everlasting God
It matters to You
It matters to You
It matters to You

What perfect timing from the Lord, to remind me that I’m not alone… that He hasn’t forgotten about me… that every burden that weighs on me, and every tear that falls matters to Him… that I am loved by my Savior.

Here’s a link to download the song for free.  Hope it encourages you.

IT MATTERS TO YOU.MP3

One of the interesting things about a major life transition like I’m looking over the ledge, about to embark on, is that you find yourself doing a lot of packing… which involves a lot of sorting… which inevitably involves a lot of rediscovering… which in turn leads to a great deal of reminiscing.  One item I discovered today was a list I started (and never finished) back in May of 2009.  Across the top reads the neither-over-nor-under-stated title, “Things I Love.”  Here’s my list…

• I love my couch, and I love falling asleep on it. Everyone should experience the joy of owning at least one couch in their lifetime comfy enough to take a nap on.

• I love sitting on my porch and watching storms roll in, or watching snow fall, or reading a good book, or having conversations with friends. In fact, I just plain love quality time with the people who are dear to me.

• I love going to Waffle House late at night.

• I love sitting in coffee shops with friends (but not drinking coffee).

• I love Friday dinners with my parents, and random phone calls with my sister.

• I love the resonance of an acoustic guitar, and the melodies you can make with those six metal strings.

• I love writing songs, and trying to arrange my thoughts and feelings in a way that stirs the heart–mine, if no one else’s.

• I love hearing from people when a song I’ve written does in fact stir their heart, and knowing that I’ve helped to make a difference in their life.

• I love laughing–the more uncontrollably, the better–in spite of my incredibly loud and “unique” laughter.

• I love giving gifts that make people smile.

• I love the revelation of God’s heart to mine… those “aha!” moments where something in His word jumps off the pages and penetrates my heart to its core.

• I love the sounds and smells of Fall–the football games and high school bands heard in the distance on Friday night, the burgers being grilled somewhere in the neighborhood… and the smoky smell on your clothes as you return home from a bonfire.

• I love “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” and I love watching it with my family from 11:30 to midnight every year on Christmas Eve. I even kinda love being woken up by my 24-(now 26)-year-old sister at the crack of dawn the next morning as if we were still 5, despite how much I moan and groan about it in the moment.

• I love the inspiration that comes from Donald Miller’s wit, John Eldredge’s adventure, Francis Chan’s questions, and Louie Giglio’s passion.

• I love a good ocean breeze at night.

• I love conversations that leave you feeling alive.

• I love friends who bring out the real “me” whenever we’re together.

• I love walking the streets of Hertford, England… in my mind, if not in person.

• I love the soul-satisfying flavor of a perfectly-made Chick-fil-a Chicken Biscuit.

That last one was a bit of a humorous note to pause on.  I’m not sure what kept me from finishing this list, but I might have to pick it back up and add to it again soon.  Loved stumbling across this though… it was good to remember some of the simple blessings the Lord has placed in my life… moments that bring life and put my heart at ease.

What’s on your “Things I Love” list?

With about 3 weeks til I move halfway across the country to begin seminary, I found myself cleaning out my email box… and as I did, I came across this series of questions I posed to myself back in 2008…

What if my life looked like the life Jesus lived? Would my days still be filled with Facebook and MySpace? Would I have watched four seasons of “The Shield” in the past month? Would I eat out three times a day, and five on the weekends? Would my money be spent on everything Steve Jobs deems worthy to wear that glorious little piece of fruit?

What if I could ask a girl to dinner without wondering what (or how soon) the gawking gossips would flood the streets with rumors of romance? Is it even possible to show an interest in someone anymore without everyone running to check the registry at Sears or Target and pick out wedding gifts?

What if I talked to God the way I talk to my friends? Would our dialogue be more real? Would I still use fancy “religious” words to try and impress him, as if he had never met someone with a vocabulary quite like mine? Or would I simply be embarrassed by our conversation, because the way I talk to my friends isn’t very loving?

What if my actions reflected the things I said? Or better yet, what if I only said the things I really did? Would my lips ever move?

What if I loved people the way I love myself? I mean, I love myself… a LOT. But that guy sitting on the corner of the Marietta Square in need of a job– or more immediately, a meal– I don’t think I really love him very much. In fact, I hope he doesn’t ask me for money when I walk by, because I’ll probably feel awkward and tell him I don’t have any money to give him. And then I’ll run in to Winan’s and grab a nice cup of hot chocolate, even though it’s summertime, because they make really good hot chocolate.

What if the four empty rooms on the upstairs level of my house were filled with people who wouldn’t otherwise have a place to call home?

What if my TV didn’t sport a 60″ screen? Would I still enjoy the Lakers, and Jack Bauer, and watching Simon point out Paula’s (increasingly) embarrassing reactions to every singer on American Idol? What could I do with the $3000 I would have saved? How could I have used it to make this world a better place for someone other than myself to live?

What if by this time next year, my life looks nothing like it does right now, because God uses the answers to these questions to change my selfish little heart?

What if by this time next year, my life looks exactly the same?

Guess I shoulda seen this coming!